When adults cry it out

Last night we tried the cry it out method of sleep training.  Yes, who knew you have to train most babies to sleep.  Apparently, the only gauge of your success in parenting an infant is how well they sleep at night.  It isn't that your baby is so happy during the day he has to wiggle because the happiness just bubbles over (which he does), or that he is developmentally on track (which he is) or even if he eats well (which he does ONLY if it doesn't come from a bottle).

In desperation that was riddled with sleeplessness and guilt, we attempted cry it out.  To be fair, we have (half assed) tried this method before but we only lasted 10 minutes before each of us buckled and we picked him up.  So I'm calling this our first attempt.  Ya, it worked.  He did manage to get himself to sleep, after 27 minutes of hellacious crying.  And then, while he slept, there were 20 minutes of sobbing in his sleep, that's how worked up he was.  I only sobbed for 15 minutes, that's how worked up I was. 

Here's the thing:
-  I am aware that this method works for some/most babies.
-  I know many a loving parent that use this method.
-  I know our son can't really soothe himself very well.
-  I know that teaching him to self soothe is a good thing.
-  I know if I don't teach him to self soothe, then he will rely on me to soothe him.
-  I also understand that leaving him there to cry doesn't mean I don't love him.

But here is something else I know:  I don't get to comfort him during the day.  I will NOT lay down beside his bed and listen to him scream at night.  I WILL rock him to sleep EVERY time he wakes.  I will NOT consider myself a failure because I cannot lay him down, walk away and he manages to sleep through the night.  I will do what works for MY family.  I'm carrying enough guilt about daycare, I don't need the guilt of 40 minutes of cyring a night heaped on top.  :)

There you have it.  That's the plan, for now...