Tuesday, September 20, 2011

33 weeks and a little reality

I find people that are always happy a little annoying.  I appreciate a positive outlook just as much as the next sarcastic girl, but sometimes a girl's just gotta cry.  Since I've decided to embrace putting my personal life on the world wide web, I might as well include the good, bad and the ugly.  And yesterday, quite frankly was as ugly as it's ever been.

I literally cried myself to sleep (subsequently, I've only cried twice today) last night.  I don't even have a valid reason to cry, which only made me cry harder.  I cried because I felt guilty that I have so much to be thankful for, yet I feel so sad.  I cried because my baby won't get to grow up around my family.  I cried because my mom hasn't spoken to me in months.  I cried for my favorite pajama pants that are now too small.  I cried about everything and everyone.  I cried so openly and for so long that it even scared me.

This is real life after all and even though I am thankful for this baby, my family, my husband, my dogs, stability and much more - it can still be hard and little lonely at times.

I don't know the answer to getting out of this little funk, I'm hoping to ride it out with time and giant bag of candy corn.  Fingers crossed that I've found the perfect combination for a little late in pregnancy rally.

No comments:

Post a Comment