What do you say?

Yesterday, a friend lost his baby.  A baby that he and his partner had not just been anticipating, but had worked hard and struggled long to have.  What do you even say?  Words can't express the sadness that I feel for him and his family.  I'm just so sorry.

Miscarriage is a common result of pregnancy.  I have tried to steer clear of reading about this subject because of the fear that has implanted itself in my life.  I know rationally that I am at no more risk than any other women (my age at least).  But that doesn't stop that fear from taking root inside my head.  It's the biggest surprise of pregnancy to date.  The minute I knew this sweet thing was growing inside of me, I became gripped with a need to protect it.  I pray a dozen times a day (beg more like) that this baby will grow, become strong, live.  It is a daily struggle to relax and remember that I am doing everything I can, but I am not in control.  In the end, life will take its course the way it was intended all along.  But that isn't always a comfort.  But I pray that they will find comfort somewhere, anywhere in this horrible time.

The sadness I feel for this couple is combined with anger.  It shouldn't be this hard for a loving and stable couple to have children.  It doesn't make sense to me that with all the children out there that need a loving family, and my friends have to jump through hoops, go out of state, and wait longer for a birth mother that doesn't mind that they are the same sex.  It doesn't just not make sense, it makes me mad.  Honestly, I'm not trying to preach (although I'm pretty sure I'd be preaching to the choir with the friends I have) but please explain it to me.  Basically, people hide under a religious flag gathering wrong information and use it to prevent a family from being united.  What happened to the religious flag of love, acceptance, understanding?  Or how about just a desire to find kids that need one loving homes?  If we cannot agree on anything, can we not agree on this?  In the end, it is just a sweet family that wants the children they can't have on their own.