Adventures in motherhood

I think the lack of sleep has finally gotten to me.  I was in the doctor's office earlier this week (just to let you know how crazy I am, I thought all day that today was Monday) and saw a pregnant girl....and I felt a tiny kick of envy.  DO NOT misunderstand me, I don't want to be pregnant.  But now that I know Tyler, I realize that all the discomfort was so worth it.  I stared at the girl and thought to myself, you have no idea how your life is about to change.  I envy that moment when she will meet her little one because that was the best moment of my life.  I will replay it in my mind a million times and each time my heart will swell with the joy and pride of it.

Motherhood is an adventure to say the least.  It's an adventure viewed through spit up colored glasses and I love it.  Tyler might be screaming at the top of his lungs, while his flailing arms hit me in my sore nipple, pooing on my 4th change of clothes and still my heart overflows.  I wouldn't call myself a mushy person (neither would those who know and love me) so you can imagine my surprise when motherhood turned me into a giant mushball. 

In other news, my new goal is to figure out a way to shower and brush my teeth in the same day.  I will also NOT wear stretchy pants at least one day this week.  Maybe, if I'm feeling adventurous, I'll even take my hair out of its ponytail this week.  Gasp.  Today when given the opportunity and time to cut my toenails (ew, they are out of control long) or eat a cookie and watch tv.  The cookie won.  There's always tomorrow...what day is it?  I should probably buy some christmas gifts.

I could brag about how extremely advanced and handsome our son is, but a picture is worth a thousand words. :)  So here are a few pictures that should equal a novel.

Fun with Grandpa

His first bath was an epic fail.

She wasn't crying, I promise.  He's clearly smitten.

One month old with his bf, sock monkey.  Thanks Aunt Virg!

I swear, he is the cutest baby ALIVE.

They don't call it labor for nothing.

I didn't brush my teeth today.  I know what you're thinking, Jessica, the day isn't over.  You still have time to brush them.  But let's be honest, what's the point now? 

Whether I brush my teeth, manage a shower, change out of my pajamas, put on deodorant or any other things that I used to do on a regular basis, I can say without question - that I'm happier than I could imagine.  I spend my days feeding, changing, soothing, dancing with and admiring my sweet son.  No, it isn't easy but it is so worth it.  No, I haven't slept more than 3 hours at a time in over 3 weeks but my heart is full.  I love Tyler and I love being his mom.

Here is the story of how we met:
Chris and I checked into the hospital on Wednesday, 11/16 around 5:30pm.  I was given cytotek (sp?) to try and induce labor.  (Did I mention I was 9 days past due?)  They give it every 4 hours over night with hopes that it would ripen my cervix.  Sorry, let me make a blanket apology in advance for TMI.  Anyway, we moved down to labor and delivery at 6:30 am on Thursday, 11/17.  I had barely made any progress overnight so they started the pitocin.  At some point in the morning, I made it to 1 cm dilated.  Success!  Labor came fast and furious with the pitocin and by 11am or so I was begging for an epidural.  Unfortunately, I was still only 1 cm dilated, he hadn't engaged in my pelvis and my cervix still hadn't thinned all the way.  So, I wasn't a good candidate (so says my sadist dr, jk - I still like her) for an epidural.  I labored on with some IV drugs that helped take the edge off, but trust me when I say it just took the pain down from making me want to jump off the roof to making me want to cry.  I appreciated the relief, no matter how small.  Also, around this time, the nurse accidently broke my water during an exam.  That's when we learned that Tyler (because he's so advanced!) had gone ahead and pooped in utero.  This is dangerous to babies (but common in post term babies) because they will breathe in the poop and it'll get into their lungs.  That's when I was told that I was a ticking time bomb of sorts.  My doctor wouldn't let me labor very long with him breathing in the muck.  In addition, there were some heart rate concerns after the contractions.

Fast forward through throwing up during contractions, sobbing to Chris that I really cannot do this, and literally BEGGING for an epidural, to 2pm.  I have been given the epidural and am starting to feel human again.  The doctor has come to check me and it's the moment of truth, if I've progressed then I can continue with labor.  If I haven't, then it was time to throw in the towel. 

No progress, more poop in amniotic fluid, I'm finished laboring.  We're going in after this elusive friendly monster (we call him this bc of all the friendly monster noises he makes throughout the day).

2:51pm - he's here!  He's perfect, healthy, peeing on the nurse and screaming like a banshee.

2:51 pm on Thursday, 11/17/11 is the day my life changed forever.  I will never be the same person that I was before.  It's the day a huge piece of my heart left my body and entered my son's.  I will spend the rest of my life protecting this sweet boy.

Yes, there is a small part of me that wishes things hadn't ended up in a surgery room where I couldn't see my son born.  But it's so small in comparison to the excitement and joy of having him here.  No regrets, I did the best I could.

And now, some pictures of the friendly monster. :)